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Sexual Worries Explained, Book 4

By Earnest Long

Copyright 2017 Earnest Long

Smashwords Edition

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Chapter 1, Introduction

This new book in the Sexual Worries Explained series consists of short articles on the subject of sexual worry, worries about health, personal hygiene and coping with goal setting and computers. There is also a 2,000 words article on the history of fucking. On a quite serious note, there is another article about self-defense if you are a porn addict. And there are articles on worries about adoption, changing the world, problem solving and analyzing your personal data, if it is right to get pleasure or not, if you really should be a success or not and whether art is trash. As well as this, then there are articles for people who worry about change in the world, if they should still keep trying as if there hadn't been any change or what they should try to do if they accept there has been change that affects them. Another article is on worry about the human body. And there are a goal setting tips and computer tips for people who might find goal setting or computers a problem. There are also articles about personal experiences.

All of these subjects are about worry when the easiest thing to do if you are worried is just to put on a porn film. This is one way people relax and unwind when they feel stressed. Other alternatives are to address your worries and these articles have help and tips about many areas of worry. Also, you can improve your personal hygiene and include this on a more general goal-setting plan. It might for example include thinking about what movies, TV shows or books you feel bored with or you might feel the shows have some deeper problem with them. This book includes discussions about how TV shows and books can be a problem if people have already seen a lot of them. Anybody who does not feel jaded about things he sees can skip these sections. Or they can read them just out of interest. Also, they can persuade themselves not to be too keen on goalsetting that they will become bored or jaded about it themselves. And this is when watching too much television can be harmful. As well, if you can't stop doing it, then it can be a source of anxiety in itself. Also, a computer can be a source of anxiety in itself. And the book has some more tips about computers when they can be such a problem as you can get porn on them if you go online.

You can read any article in any order. Whilst the articles vary in length considerably, none of them are so long that you would not be able to read most any of them in one sitting. Please enjoy this book. It does not give any definitive solutions or big ideas but does talk about subjects that cause people stress or make them want to put on a porn film. It may be informative to people who don't have a porn problem about something that you read about in the headlines on occasion or other people could read it who watch porn and think they may have had enough of watching porn but still have thoughts about lots of things going around in their head and unanswered questions.







Chapter 2, Advice and Tips

BEST SELF-HELP

Let's look at two statements that you often hear, A and B.

Statement A

In your own spare time, nobody is telling you what to do and you can do anything you like.

Statement B

Self-help books tell you what you should do if you want to be successful, have people like you and to make money.

A number of points can be made by comparing these two statements,

Social skills won't make you rich. Perfectly good social skills are expected of everybody who starts work. Without already having good social skills, people wouldn't even be hired to do the lowliest of jobs. If there is a secret to making a million, then it can't just be social skills or anything to do with social skills.

Probably the secret of success in business and making money is to do a degree in accountancy and then train for several more years as an accountant.

Nothing you do in your spare time unless it was dating the boss's daughter would help you to be a success at work.

The only relevant things to success at work for most people are qualifications and experience. No employer would usually want to know what your hobbies and interests were. The only time he might ask it would then be a negative reason that he thought you were a little odd and so would put off his other employees from coming to work.

Anxiety psychologists and medical doctors tell us is caused by people thinking they must do something, they should do something or they ought to do something. Also, anxious people think they should be something or they should appear like something to others. How near is this disease to what self-help books are doing? These books often say that you should earn a million a year. But that is an assumption. Some people will be happier with less. Also, their teachers at school give young people pep talks. Their teachers tell them that they should change the world and do something for the community. But you're doing something for your community just by having a job, not being ill and a burden on others and having anything to say. And how many ways are there of changing the world anyway? If there were an election today, most people would probably agree with 80% of what one or other of the candidates said. So why if they were elected wouldn't they do just what they said at the election! They probably would if they could and they probably do most of it. This is at least compared to if somebody completely different had gotten in. Or it is at least if the other candidate had gotten in more than once. Then he might do more of his agenda. And things could change. But then people could vote him out and change them back if they thought he was going too far.

In the end, the only reason some people will change is if it is a no brainer. Other than that, they might never change. And this is no matter how much advice people had given them. But they need the concentration to be able to do it, to have not overused their computers beforehand or not taken breaks and to have read all they might want on the subject and as well to have made notes if they wanted to. As well, it might take something to happen to them before they change their minds. All of these factors lead to them thinking that it is really a no brainer. And this is despite how many factors and other considerations had passed through their minds at some time or another. Perhaps, readers can work towards a solution to their own problems so that it appears to them in the end to be a no brainer. And when they don't just think it but feel it in their hearts, they might then really change. But then they will probably know that they are the right decisions for them anyway when they do come to make them.

CONFUSION AND ANGER

At the end of it, if you feel confused and angry, there is a shriveled old crone too ugly or too old for anyone to care about her or there is a cynical old person. The shriveled old crone is bitter and twisted and doesn't feel proper affection for young people. Yet she influences them if they believe what she says. And she often tells them things that will get them into trouble because she hates them for being young and good looking. She may get away with it but not always. And she probably does really care a bit for the young people that she does it too that she wouldn't really want anything very bad to happen to them. When anyone asks her to explain it on the rare occasions anyone traces it back to her, she will blame young people for believing her. And she'll say something like, 'Obviously I didn't really mean it myself'. Alternatively, there is a cynical old person that expects everyone to understand that he's just being cynical and doesn't care about things he hears. But then people think that he does care about them and that's why he's saying it. So you can't win! If you keep talking about something and reading about it, then nobody believes that you don't really care about it. Perhaps, there is some truth in this. And a silly thing is that the cynical old person might really have thought that they didn't care about it for a time until somebody pointed it out to them that they probably did care.

Perhaps, though, the only solution is not to talk about things at all and no matter who you are. And definitely not to anyone who doesn't know as much as you do. Still, with the Internet and paper and online newspapers sometimes over 60 pages long, everyone probably does know as much as anyone else. So why can't you talk about it? It is just maybe that nobody wants to hear your point of view. They have a different one. And nobody who is an adult could still possibly need to read a newspaper to be educated about politics or current affairs. So what's the reason to read a newspaper? It is just that if you didn't, then you wouldn't know anything that was going on in the world around you. But it is just not a good thing to talk about. This is despite the many hours every week that some people take getting the news. It seems they would like to recycle it to improve their social skills. And that's another silly thing!

But then if you examine what people talk about, the main thing they talk about is controversy when discussing any subject. And this controversy is often politics right out of a newspaper. In fact, some people say that there is absolutely nothing you can discuss other than controversy. Yet, the silly thing is that they often tell worried people never to discuss any kind of controversy. You mustn't when it is poor social skills. So what does that leave you to talk about? Often, it leaves people their work to talk about or else, they talk about something like computers. This means they are either work or computer bores or both.

Computers are only a word processor and spreadsheet or at least that's what they were for years. But now you can watch television on them. Alternatively, you can read a novel on them. So it seems that it is a safe subject to talk about for many people. Perhaps, it avoids having to say what was actually in the television program or in the novel. But ultimately, anyone they say it to will find it boring unless they are also a computer bore. Really, it depends on your friends. So who really wants to know this stuff? And why would they want to know it? Perhaps nobody wants to hear about computers because at some level it is always boring or inappropriate. So that's another silly thing! Yet computers help some people. They use computers to communicate all sorts of ideas. And they do all of this with basic software such as word processors and spreadsheets. Everyone uses this basic software.

And maybe the cynical old man and the shriveled old crone were only talking for the sake of talking. As well, that is just a silly thing that people have to say something. But this is when others might at times criticize them for it. Unless that is, you avoid controversial issues you really can't talk about! Perhaps, some things are always bad things to say. Or, at least, this is true for most people about some subjects. Try to think what these things are that, in fact, you should never say. Really, you know what they are, don't you? Silly isn't it if you ever said anything about them when really you did know.

There are two more silly things. That you know a lot about things from reading the newspapers that you really should never say is one. And second that possibly for years you've skipped any articles in a newspaper that were not controversial as not being important. But that is assuming anything in a newspaper isn't controversial. Perhaps do something silly like buy yet another newspaper tomorrow and look next time to see if anything is controversial. Also, you could look to see if they don't fully explain anything. Possibly, you can read something that is not controversial! But once you understand the controversy around it, then it is controversial no longer! Maybe, though, there really is some other reason to read it.

20 SELF-DEFENSE TIPS

Tip 1

Does not having a sense of smell count as well as not wearing glasses?

They say that if you can't defend against a punch to your nose, then your sense of smell will be worse. So someone who can defend themselves has a good sense of smell. And never talk to anyone unless you can guess what shower gel they use because they smell of this shower gel. And they don't smell of BO. If you talk with someone who has even the slightest trace of BO, then you are asking them to start an argument with you and then to beat you up. Or they'll quite probably store it up for later. Alternatively, if you are fat they might complain you smell as well. It's a toss-up if they object to you first before you notice they smell also. How long before they tell you to get out their house. Not soon enough, you might think.

Tip 2

Some say that big men don't need to defend themselves. They do need to defend themselves just as much as anyone else does and particularly if they are unfit. Big doesn't equal strong or fit. In fact, it means the person is grossly overweight and obese and must be physically unfit to be such as unhealthy size. And he should do everything possible to lose weight if he wanted to have any chance in a fight.

You have an advantage if you weigh a lot if you can put some of their body weight into their punch and particularly if you move their legs to put your whole body into it. This has some disadvantages as well. Your opponent can see punches more easily. Or they could pull you forward. But it increases the strength of the punch.

Tip 3

Someone learning self-defense might be over-confident and pick a fight. He is likely to regret it.

Tip 4

If you have a small chin that can't take a punch, you can't really defend yourself or be any kind of a fighter. So forget it. Try to use some self-defense techniques that don't actually involve fighting anyone.

'Don't get into a fight to start with you won't win'.

'Keep out of trouble at all costs'.

Tip 5

The problem with any self-defense techniques that use the hands or punching is they have zero effectiveness against someone with a gun or knife. If you punch your way out of an initial attack but he knows where to find you, then you have the same problems again. And he might not want to 'take his punishment'. Or this is whatever you thought he would do or not do. Or he hates you more for harming him or his friends or thinks it humiliating.

Tip 6

Everyone likes someone who is happy. Someone who is not happy attracts the same negative people to him, as he is himself. This can be either negative people as friends or he may make enemies. The same self-help books you read about getting a better life mean you are someone who may never have to worry about getting into a fight.

Tip 7

Apologizing works if you are wrong. But make only reasonable excuses.

Tip 8

The biggest thing you can say is that you really and genuinely did not do anything wrong. Then any anger directed at you would disappear. Or it will be hard to find to start with. However, some are surprised to find this helps so well, let alone that it helps at all.

Tip 9

Remember you are not responsible for others and their actions. Don't feel bad about what others do. And don't join in just because you're with them. You do not have to be the same as negative people even if you know them.

Tip 10

Are you someone who feels they should choose their words carefully when speaking? Then you can stop this. It is better to say nothing rather than say something you can't repeat accurately or it is genuinely going to be open to doubt.

Nor try to educate your friends about anything. This is supposed to be at root snobbishness researchers have said. Some people will see it as nonsense anyway to do this to your friends. And you might wonder at the kind of stuff that you talk when you try to educate people or elucidate on some topic. You might not realize how you sound. Perhaps, you think that you are an expert on the subject or anyone would want to hear what you know of it. But you sound like a drunkard off his barstool.

Tip 11

Genuinely good things you do and moral behavior will pay you back. It will pay you back by others thinking well of you.

Tip 12

They say an artist almost never has to defend himself. An artist is concerned with beauty. Thinking of beauty, he never does anything anyone would object to. This is whatever the subject of his work even when it is about social issues. He has learnt about social issues before he speaks but talks of art. There is a kind of beauty in self-control. And he only describes social issues of genuine interest to an artist. These issues are not controversial at all when you know art. And some issues he leaves well alone. They are not art.

Perhaps you should learn more about art and the media to improve your conversation and find good topics to discuss. This is despite thinking you hear everything and you can talk about everything you hear. You don't. That is wrong.

Tip 13

Do some exercise? A soft stomach if someone punched it, even not very hard, is enough to cause a serious injury. Do stomach exercises at least. Your arms do not matter so much and the same for the chest. A punch to the chest if you have no chest muscles can damage your internal organs.

Really, despite what you hear about men they say you would never know were expert fighters from their appearance, it is almost impossible to defend yourself without some muscle. If thin men can do it, then their thin bodies have plenty of hard muscle. And they can pack a punch and take one as well.

Do some exercises. It is useful to be able to defend yourself if ever you might physically have to be able to. This is at least against some people and a bit better against others. Being a punch bag and just taking punches when you can't put your fists up will get you more badly injured, as will having no muscle or hardly any at all on your body.

Tip 14

Never lose your temper with anyone.

If you lose your temper with your friends, they will not be your friends any more. And it may be more serious if you lose it with someone else. They don't know you to know you don't mean it or you're a nice person. And they don't care what happens to you.

Losing your temper is a big reason fights start. And if you never say anything bad about anyone behind their backs, it may be the only reason. This is unless you have money, have had sex with a girl they liked, or you have anything to give them that you did not give them.

Tip 15

If you do get into a fight, then keep your guard up. This is even if you don't return many punches or injure him. Then someone can still sort it out for you. They may stop the fight. Or otherwise, nobody can sort it out for you if you're a cripple.

Tip 16

If you annoy the wrong person, then nobody may be able to sort it out for you. Nor will you be able to if you cannot defend yourself adequately or at all. And nor is it a good idea always to make the first move if you don't want jail time. This is when his friends or the police could find out anyway. Try not annoying anyone or give anyone any cause to dislike you.

Tip 17

Learn how to speak politely and well and to listen. It will stand you in good stead perhaps for life. This is as well if you don't just one day feel tired or like having an argument.

Tip 18

If you can't do 'self-defense', then the consequences may be disastrous. They could be death, and anything less than that. Some physical self-defense techniques are necessary and desirable to know, but best avoid conflict.

Tip 19

A fit body and mind is good for anyone. As well, it is at least just healthy. And it will prevent you getting into trouble by appearing polite, attentive and pleasant. Also, it will help you not get so badly hurt if anyone does ever physically attack you.

Tip 20, Go With the Flow

When you improve your levels of happiness and self-esteem, you may see a rise in your levels of reading, reasoning and creative ability. And as well, having good physical health may mean you want to apply yourself to solving problems and putting things you think are wrong right. However, don't. You do not know it all yet. Leave it to others to suggest solutions to society's or anyone else's problems.

Really, to say it this way, 'if you suggest solutions, then you'll find that the marketplace is crowded'. Some don't realize when they start that there are already people doing all of it. You have many other clever and articulate people keen to suggest solutions to any problems anyone has. So 'when they are talented and clever people around, you don't need to do it yourself' is one way of thinking of it. This is particularly if all you have to offer is reason and your time and effort to solve problems. Don't start down the road of learning about it and talking about it. Besides which, you only have the newspapers and the TV to go by and don't really know anything different from anyone else like you at all.

But try to do something else you like that in the end you will like better such as art or reading novels. Or study to get a job or learn about a new hobby that does not involve suggesting solutions to other people's problems. Others don't want your solutions. They want theirs. And they can suggest solutions to any problem just the same as you or a lot better. Someone is always interested in any problems. As well, other people may know powerful, rich, high status people, or they have some advantage that you don't have and never will have.

Go with the flow. Try to find happiness and personal fulfilment, but don't take an interest in politics or other people's problems. But do some exercise. And exercise and improving your mind are really givens that will make you happy. And nobody will dislike or attack you if you are happy because happy people are popular. Happiness rubs off on others and everyone wants some to rub off on them. They are not going to attack someone who is happy, contented, doesn't seem to have problems of their own and doesn't worry about others. Nor do they don't mind anyone who minds their own business and does their own thing.

EASY THINGS CAN HELP

Relaxation exercises

Drink water if you're thirsty and not tea and coffee. Eat if you're hungry and don't drink.

Try to be more open-minded and to want to hear what other artists and writers have to say. Do this whilst relegating your own work as not really been very important.

Get the news. This could be political, cultural or any news. And don't just have things going around in your head. Instead, look to see who is really changing things that get in the news you see normally. Watch TV News if you feel this it is better than newspaper or radio news. This is even though you should reduce your screen time. It might mean that you actually catch the news rather than missing it.

Make time to clean, wash and cook. Do some exercise, go out for walk and do some stretching exercises, cardiovascular exercises or exercises to tone your muscles. Get to bed at a reasonable time and try to get into the habit of not staying up using your computer or looking at porn on the television late at night. Watch some other TV such as the late film to break the habit. Take all medicines regularly. If you do feel as though you might be a bit ill or run down, then just go and have a nap and don't bother doing anything. Also, don't bother about not having lots of food and keeping to a low calorie diet. But don't have too many sugary things and get toothache. Make your favorite meal if it makes you feel physically and emotionally better. It might really have just that effect as a medical fact.

Switch off the porn as much as you can. If you really feel the need to see somebody naked because of it being on your mind that you could do so, then switch off after you've watched a few minutes. Look up everything you can about the porn industry, normal sexual relationships and anything to do with sex so you at least don't feel guilty about it when it is just out of ignorance or you would not be bothered.

A HISTORY OF FUCKING

They say that girls pay attention in their lessons and unlike boys don't drink too much, are less likely to take drugs and are less likely to do nothing once they leave school. They see their lessons that they learned at school as saying people really are different from them and they should be proud of and take part only in their own culture. Still, in a porn film with black men, you can see some girls like this actually fucked. Also, fucking is about color because of what it looks like.

Children hear things at school but later their teachers say that they misunderstood them. And that is that racism is all about discriminating against people because of the color of their skin. For example, later they might say that anyone who thought that they didn't come from genuinely different cultures was ignorant. And ignorance is racist. Then much later sometimes than that, the tell people that not to want sex with people of a different culture even when you recognize that they are from a different culture is racist as well.

There is a basic cultural and biological problem with sex. That is that women can get pregnant but people can also have sex for pleasure. Possibly, if people say that women are just worried about getting pregnant and not racist when they don't want to bring up a child that would be culturally confused or where they could not have a proper long-term relationship with the father, they tell them that contraception really does work and so there's no problem. Later than this, they tell women that of course contraception does not always work but that it is still racist not to want sex with them. And they say now that there is no problem with the child being culturally confused.

After that, they then say that the child will likely be culturally confused and discriminated against but that it is a punishment given to the woman for being racist. Asked if this is wrong to play games with human life like that, they say that people should have a wider view and not such a pedantic one about human rights. As well, they say that if anyone complains, then these children will have even less human rights than they do now. This is when nobody would want them at all. Or they wouldn't if they thought about it too much.

Asked again if there is still not now a solution to it, they might say that the woman was racist because she didn't just kill the child when it was born. And she's racist because she was pedantic in thinking it might be illegal or anyone would arrest her. As well, she was racist if she was bothered about going to prison. Also, if some women say that it is morally wrong for religious reasons, then they tell them that, in fact, it's not against their religion. This is when millions of people have died in religious wars for centuries. As well, they will quote passages from the Bible that they say mean it is all right to kill. And they'll say that it is not just the one commandment that is all some people seem to know about. So, if they think there are religious reasons not to, then they are cabbages. And that is racist.

'It can all just go around and around in your head. People say one thing, then a different thing and then say it is the same thing'.

There is no universally agreed definition of racism and many political bodies do not even have any actual definition of racism even when they talk about it. One problem with this is you might say for example that all wars are racist. Possibly, it would just not make proper sense to refer to racism in debates about a war when everyone knows that war is racist. But in some documents and in some debates, they do talk about racism. Still, it is not always clear what they're talking about.

One definition that does seem almost universally agreed on is that white women refusing to sleep with black men is racist. But the authorities don't put it down on paper. They don't when it is hard to see how to say it in political language

An example of this is that it would be unimaginable to convict a black man of the rape of a white woman if the white woman had actually said something so that he knew she was racist. Also, it is if the black man had said that he could tell she was racist when he had sex with her. And if given this case, many white people would agree that the law should be different for black people. This is whatever other principal of law is broken by this.

Yet, not all black people will fuck a woman for being racist. This is when their parents don't want to look after the child and wouldn't respect the child or the mother or want to see her around their house with or without the child. In fact, getting pregnant from fucking is quite likely.

'It should be said that fucking is actually legal. And it has been for many years'.

'Everybody really would agree that a white woman not wanting sex with a black man is racist'.

Also, when treating people differently because of skin color or cultural background, some people think it raises questions about whether there should be any rape law at all. Perhaps, rape should be legal for anyone. But politicians do not actually do this although some might think it is a good idea. Instead, recently sentences the government has put up rape sentences. Someone convicted of rape can now to go to prison for up to 25 years. And David Cameron gave a vitriolic condemnation of rape as a crime in the House of Commons when he announced this policy.

To summarize what the article has said already might be the reasons for white women not wanting sex with black men. A woman really might just be worried about getting pregnant. So much of education says people are different despite the usual thing said about racism that it is all about skin color. Nobody really wants to have a 'coconut' or black on the outside and white on the inside child. Genuine black people object to them when they meet them and discriminate against them. The fathers as well do not stay around or the mother might not often get on with the father's family. Other people will also discriminate against their child and them as well throughout their lives. Nobody could want this. And they cannot avoid it no matter anything they say. As well, despite the vitriolic things you hear about racism, the same people it seems often don't criticize people for discriminating like this.

And this is as well when color is it appears often at the root of the any 'problem' people have with fucking. If the child was white and not mixed race, there then might be no problem. For a mixed race child, it seems that skin color is particularly people's problems with them. Mixed race people can even become a bit obsessed about it. This is when it is about their appearance. They see it in the mirror every day. Also, they see it when they look down at their hands or their arms or they have a shower.

So why is there this thing about fucking? This is if when really everybody if you asked them would probably know everything of the above and more.

It really is that once women have had sex with a black man even if they didn't want it to start with, they say that they then stopped being racist. And these women say as well that they were genuinely racist to start with. It did not seem such a big deal anymore. This was once they'd just had sex with someone. They could see then that they were just human beings. And they were just human beings as anyone else is.

Fucking works! It really does have the power that everyone has at one time heard of about it. But people who are worried about race want to think it doesn't have this power. They didn't want to think about it too much either or obsessed with it. Either this was when they feared it or it confused them. As well, this is when really fucking does work. And it does just as they say. Also, it works in a way that feeds into some people's fears. This is when white men have no power back. Or it could be white women as well that worry that they have no power back. Also, some younger women worry about being fucked themselves at some time in the future. It might happen to them. Then they would have been fucked and laughed at as well.

And they hear it said that everyone would laugh at them. This is including men that they thought were also racist. But they will laugh even harder at them or at least just as much. It works like nothing else for anything. Women stop being racist once fucked. As well, it makes some racist men reconsider their own racist ways. Also, it works to stop people being racist when nothing else does. Nothing else could have persuaded a woman not to be racist.

And it is harmless. It is when it is just a bit of sex. And after the man has come, then it is usually all over. Any effect on women if they are not by chance badly hurt is all in their mind. And they will not be racist from now on. It is generally powerful like that.

Fucking has the power to stop women being racist. And it has this real power. It stops racism as well when nothing else would work. This is even if anyone tried anything else. It is a lot quicker than anything else proposed. And at that, it is guaranteed to work.

As well, black men have things going for them. This is such as they have no problems making conversation. And they have hobbies and interests they do well or talents in the creative arts. Also, they can have good jobs that need qualifications, skills and experience. Or they at least have normal jobs. Everyone at work respects them. And everyone everywhere else respects them as well.

Women feel after having sex with a black man that it was just 'having sex'. It is just like with anyone else as well that you might have done it with. And women now realize how stupid they had been. They had been stupid for years to worry about it.

It really is that once they've had sex with a black man, then these women are no good to any white men who are racist. This is something people have heard about fucking. And that is perhaps the real reason why some people do actually worry a lot. This is that they worry about black men with white women. They worry what it looks like as well.

Women who have been fucked will never be racist themselves again. Nor will they ever have a bad word to say about a black person. Yet, although somebody's dreams really can be over in however long it takes them to be fucked, it is only because they were racist to start with. And now they can start again just as well. Nor is anybody really hurt by it.

'It should be remembered that everybody agrees that it is wrong to be racist. That is everybody at all agrees racism is wrong'.

Really, many of these women can just pick up their lives again and start where they left off. People tell these women never to ask for any explanation. This is about how they could have been so stupid beforehand. The only explanation they need is anyone who told them any different to what they now know was just racist. And if they got a child by it, then they will now just have to bring it up.

This is when black men are obviously not going to use a condom. They aren't when the woman is racist. Fucking would not have such a big effect if there weren't at least some risk. These are risks of getting pregnant or of catching a disease. So, the woman could still have been racist if he had used a condom. As well, you probably can't use a condom when you're doing it anyway as it would come off. So, that is another type of explanation if you wanted one like that.

Also, the history books say what racism was or is really still like for black people. And it has been very terrible for them. So why complain if now they take a little revenge? All it is usually is that white women have had sex with a black person. And there should really be no problem with just a bit of sex! And nor if it was with anyone. Nor should anyone be worried about fucking!

PERSONAL EXPERIENCES

Happier Watching Porn

I saw a video of a black girl naked on a web cam. After dancing naked to the web cam, she reached under her pillow and got out a white dildo. Then, she put it in her mouth and sucked it. It did not look very attractive and I thought it was a bit abusive. She was either abusive of herself or somebody had asked her to do it.

Another video had a woman applying to do modeling. But they told her that there were only jobs doing nude modeling. The female interviewer asked her how many boyfriends she'd had. She was a bit circumspect to tell her. The interviewer asked her when she said that she hadn't had a boyfriend many questions until eventually the modeling applicant said that she was still a virgin and that she had never even been kissed. Next, they discussed what scene she would like to do and the woman said that she wouldn't mind doing a lesbian scene. So they did a lesbian scene. In this scene that was done their and then in the same room, the interviewer stayed fully clothed and brought the other woman to orgasm. After she had gone, the interviewer took her clothes off and you could see that she was also a virgin. She made a joke about never having seen a virgin before.

The porn viewer who watched this video thought it was a reasonably funny joke. But, as well, it involved real nudity and real virgins. Also, you even saw someone kissed for the very first time. It made sex, nudity and virginity into a commercial or artistic product in a way that was a bit unsettling.

Another video of an attractive 35-year old virgin also made sex into a product that you could pay for and in a way that the Subject had not seen before. The man seemed not to actually like the woman because she had a very hairy head of hair and nipple piercings. Still, he asked her if she was OK with having sex with him on camera and she gave a strong affirmative yes. It was obvious that she was not really into it but probably needed the money. Nobody else would give her the money. In the video, it started with vaginal sex but then moved on to anal sex and a blow job when it appeared that it would have stopped earlier at the vaginal sex but it didn't in fact. He even joked that she was no longer an anal virgin. She had gone from being a virgin to penetration of all three holes.

The porn viewer thought this video was a bit different.

He says,

It was different in that usually I had assumed beforehand that the men were always into it. And if the woman say words like 'fuck' or other words like that, then the man is still really into it even if they aren't really. So this was the first video I'd seen where she might not really like having sex that much with him because he didn't appreciate her properly even just sexually. And that made me feel different from the usual talk you hear that the women are all to blame if the video has suggestions that they fuck her. As well, I thought as to why they would bother in real life if they didn't really like each other. So it made it more of a commercial product when even he didn't really like doing it.

Porn is OK

Also, I was at work years ago when another woman heard that a friend of hers from the same ethnic group had appeared in a porn film as another employee told her that. The employee they told this was against anyone sleeping with women from her ethnic group. And she said that if anyone did from outside of her ethnic group, then he should be castrated or killed. She went and phoned her friend. But she came back happy. She said that the friend had said to her that she had no money and that was why she did it. Therefore, she did not believe any wrong had been done when the reason was not enough money. Nor would she hear any criticism of her friend by anyone else or even any criticism of the man in the video. She said that her friend was not a slut. Any criticism made no sense at all and nor of the either of them. So she steadfastly refused to give any criticism at all. This was of anyone involved.

This was the first time I'd been exposed to these ideas. It seemed that when people have no money, then the normal moral or social judgments are suspended. Nobody from her community if her family did not have the money would pay for her. There were no charities in her community that paid for women if they said that if they didn't get money they would otherwise have to appear in porn. And even the father if it was a lot of money did not have to give it to her. He would not get any moral censure if he didn't. This was because he might want the money himself. People can do things with money, buy things they like or put it in their pension pot. Money can even mean that people live and don't die.

Health

Perhaps, it is feeling a bit low that means people want some kind of sexual pleasure to make them feel better again. And perhaps one reason to feel bad is not being able to lose weight despite being on a diet. One Subject who talked to the author for this book said that he had tried everything and read everything to lose weight. But he had not been able to. His diet and exercise plan when he typed it out on his computer ran to over 30 pages. And there were dozens of tips all probably equally important in it. As well, he made hundreds of pages of handwritten notes about it and used up dozens of notebooks. Yet, he did not lose any weight at all.

He worried that his weight would stop him getting a girlfriend when his fat was so unsightly. And really, he just felt a bit insulted when people tried to reassure him. For example, they told him that no women worth having would mind him looking like that. He knew that it was not true. Perhaps, they were well meaning. But also, they might be taking the proverbial out of him. It caused him some late nights with worry. As well, sometimes he would stay up all night trying to improve his diet and exercise plan. Yet, after several years of worry and planning like this, he had lost no weight at all. Indeed, he had even put some on.

Eventually, he decided that this worry was too much. The only thing he would try to do would be to do a bit more exercise from now on. He enjoyed doing exercise anyway. But he hated watching what food he ate. Today, he hopes that just doing exercise is the real secret behind people's weight loss. He heard someone in the media say that it was. As well, he also heard in the media that reducing calories has no effect on weight loss. And it might even make you put weight on. It remains to be seen how well his new regime works to reduce his weight. Also, he might have to wait to see if he will even be able to stop thinking about food all the time. This is after so long on a diet.

Another reason that somebody worried was that they didn't feel that they did enough of their goals of reading more and watching decent television. But it might be that people like this are not eating well enough. So they can't concentrate. And people like this might worry about their social skills as well. In the past, some people realized that when they got poor social skills, they would just need to read a bit more to get them back. Alternatively, they could just watch a bit more TV if they weren't watching enough already. This would improve their social skills. But on a very stringent diet, people had not been able to start doing this again.

Somebody had done a creative arts hobby to try to impress potential girlfriends. But he had only learned how to do his hobby very slowly. And this might also be caused by poor concentration and not eating enough. Also, he had not followed all health advice about doing his hobby that was another problem generally with his health, with stress and with his concentration. This was on top of everything else.

Another person with problems had moral issues in his life. This was around things he did and whether he was responsible for them. Only when he had eaten a bit better, followed health advice when doing hobbies and otherwise been able to concentrate better did he find any answers. In fact, he found that he already knew the answers without reading more. This was just from his memory coming back to him of things he knew in the past. Or by chance, he had seen things about it as well. This was just recently in the media. When he started to get his concentration back, he had consumed just a bit more media. And he felt that this had helped him as well.

Also, since the 1960s, he felt that there had been lots in the press saying people should watch porn. This was when there was so much saying that things were morally wrong when doing these things might otherwise mean people didn't watch porn. It was things like being proud of their bodies, doing exercise, being proud of their communities or choosing their friends well. Only now could he see through these problems, if there was any truth in what they said at all and if it meant he should or should not watch porn. He could do this once he had some concentration. And this was when he had just taken a break, eaten more, slept better and read some decent books.

Another man had a girlfriend. When they met, they usually had sex. But often, he would give her money for cigarettes, drink and for other things. This was just because she said that she needed some money and so he gave it to her. As her boyfriend, she expected him to help her out with money and bits and pieces. But he worried about his social skills with her. And he wanted it to be a genuine relationship. Really, he wanted her to be his normal girlfriend and for them to spend more time with each other. And he just wished that they could have the most wonderful conversations. But after so long that this hadn't happened, he thought he might not see her again.

Then, he got a call from her that sounded like she would be more than normally pleased for him to come round. When he got there, she did not want them to spend any time in her living room but took him straight through into the bedroom. And after they had been to bed together, he left almost immediately. This was without even going to the living room again or having any refreshment. But he felt sexually and emotionally satisfied. And later, he remembered how he had felt when he put it in his diary. She had been good to him in bed. So he felt that she was completely genuine.

But she just did not want to talk to him that much. Reflecting on this, he thought that really, they had a good thing going they didn't need to change. She was just being nice to him asking him for money. And she did this as a favor when she could see that it took the pressure off him. For example, she could see that he often struggled to make decent conversation. As well, he must hate himself for it. So it was really a big favor. Often, in the past, he felt that making good conversation meant you got the reward of sex. Yet, it felt so bad to think like this. It was wrong when it did not make for a good, a happy or fulfilled relationship. So she was being a genuine female friend to him. This was at least by sparing him this iniquity. Possibly, she thought as well that she might just get money for it. As well, she actually needed money. Only when he had been short of money himself by chance did he see that even the small amounts he gave her probably did help quite a bit.

And all of these examples above of getting a bit better were just from people having for a while restored some concentration. As well, almost all of this improved concentration originated in eating a bit healthier. When concentrating poorly, people found that they did many things more poorly. So, this worried them. Stress and worry in itself are bad for health and for your concentration. You can't do things well if you feel stressed. Stress and worry is a vicious circle. And the opposite of being relaxed, not tired and able to concentrate is a virtuous circle.

As well, there were often things in their past that meant people knew they might have problems today doing things properly. These are such things as drink, drugs, accidents and bashes to their head, not eating well enough or having periods where they did nothing. Perhaps, they can improve their concentration by eating better now. As well, this might repair some of the damage to their bodies. They definitely don't need to starve themselves as well. This might cut the vicious circle of concentrating poorly meaning you make mistakes so that you concentrate even less well. Alternatively, you might just worry excessively about not being able to do things properly that can also affect your concentration just by worrying. Unless you forget to eat, it is hopeful. Still, it is a long way to go to lose any weight. But you might achieve other goals sooner.

And the problems people have had in the past and people being obese now might really reduce their social skills. That would explain it! But, with good nutrition, they can still do something about it. And they might yet improve and get better than they ever imagined. This was when in the depths of despair that they thought that they'd be able to do so. In fact, the problems of years might be over in a few short months. This is if they just tried to eat better. As well, they can do a few other things to do with their health. Other things can help as well.

Someone's experiences were that for the first few days when he ate better, he did watch more TV and listened more to talk radio that was also a goal. These are both things good for social skills. As well, reading also gives good social skills. And a variety of things is good for social skills. It is when people want to hear about lots of things and not just one type of thing. And doing all of these three things, it helps more than just one or two of them. These three things are all there is to do anyway. So it is not very complicated when you think of it like this. The Subject also decided to reduce how much of his spare time he spent on hobbies but still not to abandon them completely. In one way, there were problems with not having enough time to read if doing hobbies. But really, he just enjoyed his hobbies as well. So he couldn't stop. And they did stop boredom. This is when he enjoyed them.

But there was another thing at work. In the past, he got bored knowing all the plots of novels. This was just from having read a lot in a previous period of his life. He had done this ironically by digesting properly so much of the goal-setting advice you get. So he needed some kind of hobby to use up some of his time. Otherwise, he might get bored with the plots of novels again. It had really taken him years to forget these plots. And only now he had forgotten them could he start reading novels again or start watching movies again. Avoiding consuming too much media, he might not get bored again just yet. But there are still health considerations if you do too many hobbies. A common example is a crippling overuse of your hands. This is when doing a lot of hobbies or creative arts. Perhaps, just strike a balance. Alternatively, you might just go back to bed or go out for a walk or tidy up a bit.

Somebody else collected some data together to analyze about his hobbies. Using the adage to keep it simple when planning, he realized that if you did hobbies a lot, it was often too much. This is as there generally were problems with them if you do them for long periods. A big problem with them is that there are health issues around them. But not doing any normal hobbies at all, he instead wrote long diaries or notes about his health problems and other goal setting. And he did this because at the time he did it, he was worrying terribly about possible health implications of not having a decent diet and exercise plan and not being able to lose any weight. Perhaps as well, being more relaxed doing art, he might think better through his problems. Alternatively, it could cause more health worries and not fewer of them.

AM I ADOPTED?

Let's say that something happened. To you, you are a victim. But other people blame you for what happened. Your own parents might attack you and say you don't deserve to live if that is how you behave. Almost nobody else or nobody at all will have sympathy with you that you know. And anyone who might have sympathy with you will stay silent often. This is if you realize their silence is not condemnation possibly because they might tell you later that they understand what happened to you. They know because it happened to people they know. And they listened to their explanations just like yours but it did no good to talk about it.


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