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this author. Please note that this is a work of fiction. Any
resemblance to actual people, places or events are purely
Where to begin?
Or more appropriately, how do you begin?
In an attempt to quantify what I’ve done and where I’m at is a
feat unto itself. No easy task, culling together everything,
everyone, in every place I’ve ever been. This isn’t a story;
it’s a potpourri of experience, its pungent essence drifting
aimlessly for all to smell.
I’ve attempted to do this many times before this, but only once
have I been successful, and even then, that wasn’t me. That was a
dream of another me, one that was reflected in a melted mirror with a
distorted reflection. The only proper way to proceed is just to puke
the words out onto the page, and hope to gain some semblance of order
in my ranting and raving. Most would think this sheer lunacy, but I
see it as an attempt to put my world into some sort of order.
Order. What does that even mean?
Some might define this as if it were our entire system we live in.
We live on Earth, a planet that is ninety-three million miles from
the center of our solar system. This planet rotates on its axis in a
manner that gives us a steady rotational cycle of twenty-four hours.
We call this a day. At the center of this solar system lies the sun,
which perhaps is the only thing that nourishes and sustains this
planet we live on. Without it, life would be impossible. Some
people over-estimate it’s importance that they actually worship it,
but I’m getting ahead of myself, more on that later, I promise.
So, while the Earth is rotating so we get equal days, it’s also
rotating around this central sun in a somewhat steady fashion, and
when we come back to the same point in space that we currently
inhabit, a year will have passed. This is order. Seconds become
minutes, minutes become hours, hours become days, days become weeks,
weeks become months, months become years.
Years have passed.
And in those years, I wonder how many months, weeks, days, hours,
minutes and seconds have passed. And I wonder what I could have and
should have been doing with all that lost time. I could have seen
the world, or built a home, or wrote a book. Anything.
So, what I suppose this is, more than anything is a ledger to try and
account for the time that slipped away. It’s my musings on the
order we had then juxtaposed with the order we have now. But here’s
the kicker, there will be no rhyme or reason to this. It’s just
going to come out in whatever form it comes out in. Rapid fire,
You know what it is, it’s everywhere. If climate experts are
correct, there’s going to be a lot more of it. There’s certainly
no shortage of it, seventy-eight percent of the planet is covered in
it. I never used to drink it, now I can’t get enough of it. I
can’t stand being submerged in it, in fact, it kind of scares me a
There was a time when I was fearless, but that was when I was in my
teens and twenties. I was kind of a thrill seeker when I was
younger. In fact, since my time, they’ve discovered many other
ways of thrill seeking that hadn’t even been thought of since my
thrill-seeking days. When I was younger, you could bungee jump, you
could climb sheer rock faces without ropes or harnesses, race across
fragile surfaces of frozen lakes on snowmobiles at breakneck speeds,
or jump out of airplanes. I was guilty of all of the above. I used
to live in the water during the summer months growing up in Idaho. I
sometimes wish I still could.
With age comes the realization that you’re not as invincible as you
thought you were. As I transitioned into my thirties, I began to
realize that it’s healthy to have fears of certain things. One
day, I was swimming in the pool that my apartment complex had, I
swallowed a little chlorinated water somehow while I was submerged
and panicked. This event awoke in me a fear I did not know existed.
Now you will not catch me in water much deeper than my waist. I do
not take baths, I prefer showers because there is much less water to
So, coming into my forties, all the things that I should have been
afraid of in my teens and twenties, I’m cautious about now. I have
no urge to climb rock faces or to race across frozen lakes.
In fact, it wasn’t even until the last couple of years that I
understood just how stupid that was. We were miles from town, in
sub-freezing temperatures, years from anybody having a cellular
device. What were we thinking?
Who’s we? My friends and I, that’s who.
If any of us had gone through that ice, we would have been done for.
Somebody had gone through that ice, and fortunately for him, only his
snowmobile perished that day. For all I know, it’s probably still
in the bottom of that lake. That heavy old snowmobile became known
as the “Titanic of Idaho”.
If I had gone through that ice, I’d probably discovered that fear
of water much sooner in my life, of this I am certain. But I was
young and stupid, and ran with a rough crew back in those days. We
were the kinds of trouble makers who would shoot holes in irrigation
pipes, catch leeches in jars, and swim the creeks until after dark.
All water related activities.
In 2014, I became baptized in a tank of water. I had to be submerged
in the water for only a few seconds, but to me it was utterly
terrifying. It was something that I needed to do for my soul, but
the act itself was fairly frightening.
When I lived in the Pacific Northwest, you couldn’t get me into
Pacific waters under any circumstances. The first time I went in
there, and mind you, it was in August, you would think I had a giant
rubber band attached to me which snapped me back on the shore as soon
as I had gotten waist deep in it. That is some cold water! You
might think I’m weak or a crybaby or something, but let me tell
you, that was the first and last time I actually got into the waters
of the Pacific.
After I moved down here to The Deep South, I waded out into the
waters of The Gulf of Mexico and found the warm tropical waters there
to be much warmer and more inviting. I actually enjoy wading into
the Gulf. Some of the most beautiful beaches I’ve ever seen are
down here. And I honestly prefer this subtropical climate as opposed
to the temperate climate of the Pacific Northwest.
In the Pacific Northwest, we got a ton of rain. In fact, it’s
known for the rain. Believe it or not, we get more actual rainfall
here in The Deep South than we got up in Washington State. There are
more days of drizzly rainfall up there, but more actual rain down
here. When it rains here, it gets serious about it, and dumps an
inch or more at a time in just a few hours. What takes a week to
accumulate up there, can fall here in an hour. But the rain here
does its business and is over. We usually don’t have too many
consecutive days of rain like Washington does. Up there it starts
raining around September something or other and then doesn’t really
let up until the end of May or June, even all the way up to the
Fourth of July. Either way, I am still getting plenty of water
falling from the sky, no matter where I’m at, it seems.
I now also find myself in my forties with a plethora of health
issues, many of which are abated by consumption of large amounts of
water. Now, I have no problem drinking water, I go through four to
six bottles in a day. But here’s the catch, I won’t drink it
unless it’s ice cold. I mean, I can drink it at room
temperature, but I don’t get anything pleasurable from it unless
it’s ice cold. I find myself craving ice cold water three or four
times a day. My body practically demands it. If I don’t drink it
quickly in the summer here in The Deep South, it heats up pretty
fast, and then I don’t want it.
I think I may have an ice-cold water addiction. I don’t know if
there is such a thing, or what it would be called, but more than the
water itself, I crave that cold feeling in my mouth and throat.
Sometimes I think I may be trying to quench the unquenchable thirst.
I don’t know. All I do know is that I cannot survive without
water, whether I love it or hate it. And with that in mind, I’m
off to consume another bottle of ice cold water…
Ahhh, I feel much better. And I also took the opportunity to consult
Pastor Google about my ice-cold water addiction and the closest term
it could give me was “Aquaholic”.
Pastor Google is a term that my Pastor actually uses, and it kind of
stuck with me. He is always teaching about ancient pagan religions,
and says that if we don’t believe what he is saying to ask Pastor
Google. So, with that in mind…
Religion and Spirituality
While Christianity seems to be slipping away from the hearts and
minds of most Americans, who are steadily turning toward science and
atheism as explanations for their misgivings or failures, there
exists blindness amongst followers as to what their faith truly is.
While modern Christians believe that you can say a prayer, and accept
Jesus as your Lord and Savior and all will be forgiven if you simply
ask for forgiveness, and everything will be hunky dory. You made it,
you’re going to be raptured and on your way to Heaven!!
Where did they come up with these fairy tales? Now you might be
thinking that I’m an atheist, and bashing modern Christianity, but
that couldn’t be further from the truth, and the truth is much more
complicated than that. In fact, I’m not sure that I’m even
qualified to tell this tale in the scope and the depth that it needs
to place it into the proper perspective.
According to the Holy Bible, there was once a great flood that
covered this Earth. It covered the entire planet in water. This
would not have been a good time for me to be alive, as we have
discussed my feelings on water. Prior to this flood, God had
commanded Noah to build an ark and to preserve two of every bird and
beast on this great boat. I’m sure you remember the tale from
Hollywood kind of messed that story up recently, as Hollywood often
does. There was this awful movie called Noah, where Russell
Crowe played the lead role of Noah. Well, God tells Noah to build
the ark, and then he gets help building it from giant rock creatures,
who are really fallen angels, and Methuselah was into some sort of
witchcraft or magic who gave the wife of one of Noah’s sons the
ability to become pregnant after it was revealed she couldn’t have
children. So, Noah thinks that God charges him with building this
ark so he can take care of the animals until the flood is over and
cause humans extinction so the animals can have the world. So, when
Noah finds out that the girl is going to have children, he goes off
in a murderous rampage, because he believes that God wants the
animals to have the world and for the humans to die. I can’t
recall any of this in my Bible anywhere. It’s got to be somewhere
around Genesis 6 or 7 ish, right? Thankfully, it’s nowhere to be
found. This is just bad fiction at its worst.
But back on track, after the great flood, one of Noah’s sons goes
off and eventually forms what would become the Empire of Babylon.
Fast forward many years from there, and Babylon was established and
ruled by King Nimrod, who was a mighty man. Nimrod was a great
hunter, but more than that, he was very intelligent. He was somehow
able to figure out how the celestial bodies worked and he was the
first to figure out the calendar, and used it as a device to
manipulate his people into Sun Worship. And so, a system began, one
that is still in operation this very day.
This is something that I want to discuss further in my next volume.